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Mothers face many challenges in todays world. They carry the responsibility of many roles. through these roles we become different things to different people. Sometimes we get divided over having a career and having a families or find conflict between the different jobs that we try to do. Making the question Who am I? even harder to answer.

It grows harder because mothers see this little person that looks up at them with innocent trusting eyes, mommy is everything to that little one. She makes the hurt from boo-boos go away with a kiss, chases the monsters from under the bed away, and rocks them after a bad dream. Every mother takes that responsibility and carries it with her no matter where she goes. It is an awesome responsibility of caring for this wonderful little person and being mom is always on the mind. As much as it is wonderful to revel in mommyhood, we still need to remember that being a mother is just one part of us, the more we allow ourselves to see who we are the better examples we can set for our children to leading a balanced life.

As a mother, I have struggled to find my own identity. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a business owner, a sister, a friend..but who am I? It is easy to define yourself by what you do and what you mean to other people. As we take on these different roles our own identity gets blurred. It is harder to make the distinction. Who am I if I am not Logans mom or Bens wife?

Who are you? A wife, a mother, an employee, they are all a part of who we are, but they do not define you. We are the only ones that are able to define who we are. When are we just women? Women that have our own values, ideas, and philosophies, women that are able to embrace their different roles in life, but still are able to maintain there sense of self.

The importance of women defining who they are is giving them a chance to grow as women. To recognize that they need to take off all the different hats that they wear during the day and take time to honor who they are.

The problem is that because they are in so many different roles that they stop seeing themselves separate from them. They stop taking time for themselves, because they are giving so much to everyone else. Does this sound familiar? Have you lost your identity among the different jobs that you do everyday? How do you see yourself?

Here are a few questions that can help you determine if you are defining yourself by what you do instead of who you are:

Do you spend at least an hour a day doing the things that you want to do? (Reading, participating in hobbies, watching your favorite TV program, etc)

When asked to describe yourself do you start with I enjoy or I am a woman that believe/feel.? Or do you say, I am a mother or I am a nurse

Are you able to say no to things that interfere with the things that you want to do? Or that you do not have time for?

Do you feel that your life is in balance? Which means that you get enough time to pursue your own interest instead of just the interest of your children or significant other?

Do you feel that you spend time equally on yourself as you do on others?

If you answered no to any of the questions it is time to get back in touch with yourself. You need to not only stop defining yourself by what you do but you need to spend sometime getting to know who you are.

Here are some tips for you to get in touch with the forgotten woman inside.

Make sure that you spend time perusing your own interests. The problem with defining yourself by what you do is that you dont give yourself time to do what you want to do; your time is spent doing for others. Do something that you have always wanted to do; take a class, start a book club, anything that gives you some time to just do your own thing. Above all make the time to do it! Its ok to do something for yourself.

Say NO frequently! Just because you take on different roles does not mean that you have to do everything for everybody. Recognize when there is something that others could really do for themselves. Do not let yourself be taken advantage of! REMEMBER it is just as much of a benefit for others to learn how to do for themselves as it is to you.

Make sure that you have OFF duty time! Just like a conventional job, make sure there is a time of day when you are done. Dont work right up until you go to bed. Give yourself time to unwind, distress, and relax. Wait until the kids are in bed and take a long hot bubble bath. Curl up in your favorite chair with a good book. Meditate or do yoga. Do whatever relaxes you. You need this time to maintain some balance. Because of you multiple roles you are on the clock the majority of the time. You have to have time to distress! Without it you are going to burn out. Visualize your bank account if you keep making withdraws without making a deposit, eventually you are going to just run out of resources. Make sure to take time to revitalize yourself.

I have found that by maintaining my own identity that I am a better mother, wife, daughter, business owner, sister, and friend. It maintains balance in my life because I know that even though I am different things to different people; I know what it means to just be me.

about THE AUTHOR: Tonya Ramsey is a life coach and owner of Life By Design. She specializing in assisting working mothers find life balance to maintain a healthy and peaceful life. For more information on Tonyas services or to receive a free life coaching session to help you design the life that you want, visit Life By Design web site or send an e-mail. Why juggle your life when you can balance it.

[ copyright 2006 Tonya Ramsey. All Rights Reserved. This article may be freely reproduced as long as the about THE AUTHOR at the bottom of this article is included unedited. links must be Active/Linkable]

When it comes to water pressure, what one person thinks is adequate might come across as a trickle to another. Because opinions vary widely, it is important to be able to make a determination of the adequacy of water pressure in some definitive way. That is especially true for a working home inspector. If a client asks why the inspector did not comment on high or low water pressure, then having a normal water pressure reading documented on the report is a good idea.

water pressure gauges are easy to use practical tools and, certainly, not out of the reach of the homeowner in either cost or the expertise required to operate them correctly. In fact, these gauges can be purchased at any good hardware store for about $10.00. Once you have the device, you might wonder what readings you are looking for? Well, normal pressure is described as being between 40 and 80 PSI (pounds per square inch). The easiest place to check that reading is to screw the gauge on at an outside faucet. Beware, there can be a potential snag doing that: Not often, but sometimes, the hosebibb or faucet is plumbed in before a pressure reducer is put in the system and, in that case, there will be a high reading on the gauge. For this reason, when a hosebibb gives a high reading, a person should try to get another reading, such as attaching the gauge to the faucet the washing machine connects to. The washing machine faucet is usually inside the home, or so we hope, and has the same threads as the pressure gauge. If the reading is still high, then the problem is confirmed since the washing machine is one of the appliances we are trying to protect from damage caused by high water pressure.

As an aside, it is my opinion, having inspected many homes and then checked the water flow, that any reading under 50 PSI is suspect and the people who are going to live in the house ought to see for themselves if they like the water pressure. If a person buying a house does not have a pressure gauge, or wonders if he or she will be satisfied with the water pressure, I suggest the good old-fashioned multi-flow test. It is simple enough. Get the dishwasher or washing machine running. Then turn on a sink or two and go to a bathroom and try the shower, the sink, etc. Do this on each floor, with other fixtures running. You can get a pretty good idea of the adequacy of the water pressure and how it will affect you.

As far as solutions to a pressure issue: If the pressure is too high, a pressure reducer will probably be installed by a plumber. If, on the other hand, the water pressure is too low then that will be more complicated. The cause can range from bad pressure at the source, to rusted pipes and a number of other issues.

Steven L. Smith, owner of King of the house Home Inspection is a licensed structural pest inspector and a certified home inspector in Bellingham WA. Smith is the program coordinator for the college level home inspection training program at Bellingham technical college.

www.kingofthehouse.com